oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
