If that was your dad, he is hot
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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