yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
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i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
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You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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