when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am spending my child support on dildos
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
birth control should be required to get into college
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize