I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize