so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
