He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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