Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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