she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
