Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
