Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
that is very illegal...i love you.
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