I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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