So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize