it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
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This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
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i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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