I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
