he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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