real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
