I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
