the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize