Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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