this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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