Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
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after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
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Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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