cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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