haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
