Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
