I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
