Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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