yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
