she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
