you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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