ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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