I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize