do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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