Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
