im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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