Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
