dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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