apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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