I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
