Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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