She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
