try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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