I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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