You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
