I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
