He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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