I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
