Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Dear god my vagina.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
