I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
