the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
