id be glad to
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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