sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize