I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
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I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
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This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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