Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
