I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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