you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
